BEING THE BIGGER PERSON

CHAPTER NINE ( STEP NINE)

In our day-to-day life, misunderstandings and conflicts are common. It can happen with anyone, even with our family members or close friends. Especially it’s very common with strangers. When such things happen, we can react in three ways.

i) Ignore the issue,

ii) Blame a person or

iii) Be a bigger person and indulge in solving the issue.

 The first way is to ignore the problem :

The first way might help to keep the issue off from you for some time, but eventually it will get back to you, if the problem is bound to be solved by you or if your participation in that issue is required. So, the point is the first way will not be of any use, if you are involved in it somehow. It can only be implemented if the problem is not yours to be bothered by. For example, you are living in an apartment. Your house is in the third floor and a 12-year-old boy in first floor is arguing with his parents in his house for not taking him out as his parents promised him to.Here, it is not your problem so you can ignore the problem as it’s not anyway related to you .Yes, here you can use the first way. But if the same thing happens in your house, you cannot use the first way as there could always be something that you can do to solve or ease the issue

Now, the second way of dealing with the problem is by blaming: When any issues arise, one thing can be done by anyone easily and that is blaming. It is easy, but is it effective in clearing the issue is the question. Blaming is just like pushing the issue to someone else to do it. What does blaming actually do to the person who is blaming and to the person who is getting blamed at? If you are the person who is blaming, it can help you escape from facing the situation. But if you are the person who is blamed, surely you would feel bad, angry .Your mind would get filled with anger and prevent you from thinking of how to change the situation into a better one .You wont even be willing to clear the issue. Yes, no one would feel motivated to solve the problem if they get blamed . In worse case, it just fills the person’s heart with anger, hatred and vengeance.

So, if the second way is not working, why not try to go with the third way of dealing with the problem, which is trying to be the bigger person by not playing the blame game?

Third way of dealing with issues is by trying to be the bigger person:

To be the bigger person is to analyse the problem and find out what would be affected and who would be affected and what best things can happen if the problem gets solved instead of thinking whom we can blame. It’s about taking charge of the problem, seeing that problem as your own and put efforts to solve it. By doing that, you can inspire others to come forward to solve the problem too. Here, the problem won’t be left unnoticed or unsolved, rather the problem would get solved sooner which in turn can bring in good things and appreciations also. It helps prevent getting the situation or the environment from becoming worse. You will gain wisdom and leadership skills as well .Some will even start to come to you for advice, help and they will see you as a bigger, wiser and better person .You would save your peace of mind from getting crashed because of the problem and yes, you would feel better and good because you can take the credits for solving the problem.

Step nine’s view:

The ultimate thing is to lead a peaceful life. To have a peaceful life, you got to know how to deal the problem as there will always be one or  other problems.So, analyse what kind of problem you have got to handle and choose the right way and lead a peaceful life. :)