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FASTEST WAY TO FEEL UNHAPPY? COMPARE

CHAPTER THIRTEEN




We are prone to self compare ourselves with others knowingly or unknowingly. The damage it does, as a result, is not just one but many. It triggers us to perceive ourselves as mediocre people and others as best people. Deep down, we all feel, that something is there inside every one of us, holding the potential to achieve something of great value. We are so desperate to show our worth.



The sad thing is that we are not aware of our strengths. The worst combination is when the enemy called comparison also joins with ignorance and sets its foot inside our minds and hypnotizes that we are average people who would always be many steps away from succeeding to have the life that we all dream of. It weakens our self-esteem, hope and confidence. When we let comparison take control over how we see and think things, it means we are sweeping gratitude off from our lives. Not having a substantial amount of hope, self-esteem, gratitude and confidence is a dead-end for meaningful living.

COMPARISON HAS ALWAYS BEEN THERE SINCE BIBLICAL AGES



The comparison game just didn't pop up with the introduction of social websites and up-gradation of our lifestyles. It has been there for many centuries now and the proof can be found in the bible too. The story about Jacob and his brothers and how comparison made Jacob's very own brothers turn up against him. Similarly, there are many situations which show comparison's role played by people back then. If you have had a good read, you would have come across the warnings given by the apostle Paul.

Having then gifts differing according to the grace that is given to us, let us use them; if prophecy, let us prophesy in proportion to our faith;” (Rom. 12:6).

in 2 Corinthians 10:12: “For we dare not class ourselves or compare ourselves with those who commend themselves. But they, measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise.”

Here, he says that every one of us has been gifted with various skills and virtues. He emphasises that we are designed in a way to have different talents and skills from others. He tells us that we should be grateful for that and we should never try to compare our gifts with that of others. We should not develop superior or inferior feelings from comparing and if we do so, we are then nothing but just fools.

MODERN APPROACHES TO HELP US STAY WAY FROM COMPARISON:


1.Hike your own hike

There is a common motto among hikers: " hike your own hike" which means, resist the urge to compare how far you have come with how far others have gone. This concept denotes that in the end, everyone is going to reach their destination and that we should just focus on your progress without giving a damn about others. If we inculcate this into our lives, we can steer clear of comparison and unwanted negativity.




2. Turning the weakness into strength

  • It is very easy to fall into the downward spiral of comparison and get hit by jealousy. What if I tell you, you can use this very thing as a tool to boost up your confidence and gratitude? The very thing which destroys your life can be used to elevate your life. You would not hesitate to utilize that tool right? Okay, now let us see how it works.


By deliberately comparing yourselves with someone less fortunate than you, you would start to feel grateful and happy for what you have. For example, you are upset that we don't have a fast internet speed, you don't like the way your mom makes you the same food for three-four days a week. Or you are upset because you have got nothing to do, nothing to watch in NetFlix and just lying down in your room strikes you with boredom


Even if you compare your worst day to someone who is stranded in an unknown place with no money and food, your worries would just fly away. You would automatically stop whining. It would also remind you that there are people out there, in need of help and support. This turn in the compassionate side of yours. You would not only feel grateful, you would also start to feel the pain of others and look for ways to share your kindness with others. Helping others boost up your self-esteem, confidence and make you feel great about yourself. Now, you can see how it works all positively. Try this :) Change negativity into positivity!


Use comparison to gain motivation and information. Try to learn from successful people who are nearby, so that you can see their struggles, their coping mechanisms and their realities instead of comparing some distant successful people, as their "behind the scenes" would be very secretive.




3.Set gratitude as your second nature:

Open your eyes and try to find all the good people and small things which are there in your life. Be it your morning coffee, evening snacks, the small plants in your balcony, your favourite cushioned sofa, pleasant sky at night. Try to feel happiness and calmness from being able to have them in your life. When gratitude becomes your second nature, you will have no space for comparison and other unwanted negativities to invite.




Step thirteen's view: Comparison is a joy stealer. So, be cautious of it. The only person with whom you should be comparing yourself is with you. Try to do everything a little better each time you do and become the best version of you. That's all it matters :)







LINK :

https://www.makemebetter.net/comparison-is-a-thief-of-joy/

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/multiple-choice/201903/is-comparison-really-the-thief-joy

https://www.biblestudytools.com/bible-study/topical-studies/who-said-comparison-is-the-thief-of-joy.html

https://medium.com/@gunjan_31067/lifelessons-comparison-is-the-thief-of-joy-6a2e6c782f7f

https://medium.com/thrive-global/roosevelt-was-wrong-comparison-is-not-the-thief-of-joy-9e490cd6225

https://ryanbattles.com/post/comparison-is-the-thief-of-joy


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