Are you that person who tries to do what all you can do to please everyone around you? Who places everyone else and their likings, priorities before yours? Do you only do things to which everyone would agree? You try your level best to be there for everyone? You would always think about others, but when it comes to you, you don’t think much about you? If that's you, read this chapter.
Each person seeks different things. If you put yourself in the centre of everyone and do things for them, what will happen when you do one thing for one person, but the other person in the same gang doesn’t like what you are doing? You will get stuck in between, right? The worst thing is, sometimes despite what you do for others, people take you for granted or they can go unsatisfied.
For instance, you do something good for someone in your office and the least you expect from them is for them to be good to you or at least smile at you whenever they see you.
But what if that person, on the contrary, shows your attitude?
Your mood and your work instead of getting uplifted it gets affected.
The thing here is, you expect others to be like you and when they prove you wrong, you get affected by it.
Some people will always love you and be there for you for who you are and what you do for them. Those people are the nicest ones, right? :)
While some people will always try to find fault in you and leave you.
While some won’t even have noticed what you were doing for them all these times because you were doing everything for them without even them asking.
So, they at some point in their lives instead of being grateful, they would just start to take you for granted.
LOSING ONESELF IN THE PROCESS OF PLEASING OTHERS:
When you give others the first priority, it means you are not giving importance to yourself, to your desires and to your thoughts.
You can keep please everyone else by putting yourself down but one day, what will happen after all the time you spent and the efforts you put, people still criticise or leave you? You will get broken right?
When you see your life, it will feel like you were living someone else’s life as you were only living according to other’s needs and wishes.
One day, your cup from which you used to fill others cup will get empty and you can’t go around expecting others to fill yours.
TIPS TO STOP PEOPLE PLEASING :
Know your priorities.
Learn to say no softly.
Give yourself some time for thinking before saying yes.
Show people how to treat you and what to expect from you. This prevents disappointments and misunderstandings.
Say no to energy-draining favours and situations.
Be sure of who you are and what you want.
Stand up for yourself.
Stick to your ethics, beliefs and values.
Never seek validation from others.
Remind yourself that it's impossible to be in everyone's good books.
Don't waste your time in proving yourself to others.
QUOTES ON PEOPLE PLEASING:
“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life.”–Steve Jobs.
“One of the greatest regrets in life is being what others would want you to be, rather than being yourself.” ― Shannon L. Alder (an inspirational author)
“Live life as though nobody is watching and express yourself as though everyone is listening.” ― Nelson Mandela
Only when you stop trying to please everyone, you can live a life for you. Don’t be a people pleaser, you be you and if anyone likes you, they will stick with you. Just don’t lose yourself in the process of pleasing people because if you do that, when you look back, your life will not be filled with happiness but only with regrets and disappointments.