SOMETIMES, THINGS DOESN’T HAVE TO BE THE WAY YOU FEEL OR THINK

CHAPTER THREE (STEP THREE)

Well, yeah, you might have heard sayings like follow your instincts. You can apply it when you are playing a game where only pure luck matters or when you are choosing a place to explore and have fun. But don’t turn a blind eye to everything just because you feel so. It cannot be always true. Let’s discuss two cases.

The first case is when you feel everything is about you. For example, you didn’t have any peaceful time in your college or office and you are coming home to relax and to have ME TIME, but the moment you enter your house, you see your parents arguing with your sibling in the centre of your house where you thought you would watch television. You try to stop the argument but it doesn’t seem to end. It keeps on becoming more and more emotional, and dramatic. On the other side, you see your grandma in one of the bedrooms in your house. She is calling you again and again and asking you to do things for her and once you are done helping her, instead of thanking you, she complains about what you didn’t do for her last month. You feel pissed off and you are going to your room and sitting silently but you can still hear your parents and siblings’ arguing. Your mood is off and suddenly just like adding oil to the fire, you receive a message from your friend saying she wants to cancel the plan of going to theatre which you planned you guys would do, the next day. After seeing that message, you curse your life, ask God why does it have to be you always? Which will be followed by many questions like why my life is miserable? Am I an unlucky person? etc.

Here is where you have to react differently from how you normally react to your situation. Instead of immersing yourself in a sea of self-pity, try to see the other side too. Your sibling is asking your parents to buy her a scooty saying everyone else in her gang is having one (peer pressure stuff). She is feeling embarrassed and frustrated about not having a scooty whereas your parents are trying their level best to make your sibling realize that having a scooty is not advisable as it is dangerous and that anything can happen. They are feeling bad for saying no to their child. Your grandma is lonely, and she is longing for someone to be there beside her, and complaining is her way of asking for company. Your friend, who made you upset, is grounded by her parents for scoring low marks in the last exam. See it wasn’t just you but everyone who was going through something. So instead of cursing and questioning God for the upsetting situation you are in, if you turn the view to others you can at least help others in small ways like giving your grandma some company and by helping your sibling and parents in ending their argument and make your friend feel better by telling her, you guys can go next time, maybe you can even go to her house and lend her some of her favourite books which she can read since she is stuck in the home because of grounding. See, at first, you thought all upsetting scenarios and situations were all upon you, but later when you were ready to see the other side as well, you realized EVERYTHING ISN’T ABOUT YOU SOMETIMES, and by realizing that you can be of some help and comfort for others and doing these things would surely make you feel better too. It became a win-win situation :)

Now let’s go to the second case. This is where you feel something isn’t fine but you do nothing thinking it is the other person’s issue. You even convince yourself into thinking that not everything is in your hands. But like I said, this need not be true all the time.

For instance, you told your friend not to do something, but she didn’t listen to you and she did exactly what you told her not to. Now you could just think you warned her beforehand but she didn’t listen and now she is regretting her actions. This is her issue, and there is no need to indulge in that. In yet another case, your grandma is saying she is having leg pain. You can just leave it thinking she has the pain always, nothing new. In both the cases, the person suffering isn’t you, so you can easily let it go but when you take a moment to be there for them, in your friend’s case you can just be there next to her, silently patting her shoulder uttering no words. Maybe that would be of some comfort for her and in your grandma’s case, you can massage her legs gently so that at least even for a small span of time, she might feel some relief from the pain. Also, in both the case, they would be happy seeing your intentions and efforts for them and it would make them feel that they have someone in their life to lean on when it gets hard. Perspective helps us to see things differently, and it has the power to change everyone’s lives around us. So, don’t dive into a conclusion. Try your best before giving up.

Step three’s view: Perspective is everything. It could make things better or bitter. The key is having the right perspective. Remember not to converge all your upsetting situations upon you, rather try to see the roots of the upsetting situations, behind the scenes of people. The moment you feel it isn’t about you, don’t leave the place, instead, do your part no matter how big or small it is. Do your part to leave it a little better than how it was because you never know how much a small act of kindness can mean to a person. Since kindness is free, why not give it to everyone!