top of page

People who have had little self-reflection live life in a huge reality blind-spot

“We don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are.” – Anais Nin

“What we perceive about ourselves is greatly a reflection of how we will end up living our lives.” – Stephen Richards

I think these two quotes are enough to know why we have to self reflect in our lives. Our thoughts and emotions make up who we are and how we interact with the people around us. How we treat others leads others to behave in the same reciprocate way and this is how the world works. Also, we let ourselves behave in the way we think we behave and this provides the outlook of what we think we are to the people around us.

You might think this is all working right and may wonder what problem could possibly arise from this working pattern?

The problem pops up when our thoughts about us and others aren't true. That is, we think about us and others in a certain way and behave accordingly but what if it isn't true?

What if we are just behaving with the wrong assumption in our minds?

Now, we all understand where it might go wrong and how it could mess up literally everything, right? To be sure we are right about ourselves and others, we have to practice a thing made of two words. That is called Self Reflection.


Self-reflection is the process of consciously paying attention to our thoughts, behaviour, feelings, emotions, decisions and beliefs. It means taking a step backwards to analyse and improve if any changes are needed for our improvement and then proceed to have the next step with full confidence and clarity.


  • Lack of awareness: People don't know how much power it has and how amazing it can turn people's lives upside down in a good way.

  • Lack of details: They know the importance of self-reflection but they don't know when and how to do. They don't know all other basic details about self-reflection.

  • Don't like the process itself: Self-reflections expects the person to be not defensive. It expects people to allow themselves to feel vulnerability and discomfort. It involves the process of having the mind to analyse their thoughts and emotions and be willing to find what's wrong so that the person can be at his/her efficient or best self.

  • Don't like the result: Some might become so defensive that they completely forget to learn anything. In the end, they say that the results are not worth anything.

  • Too much on the plate: People avoid doing it because they feel they are already bombarded with too much stuff and issues to handle in their lives and that they have no time for self-reflection.

Well, If we understand the benefits we would dare to look for excuses to avoid practising self-reflection.


  • PERFECTS OUR LIVES: Spending time to do self-reflection helps us to know who we truly are (self-awareness). It makes us see whats needs to be improved and pushes us into that way (self-improvement). Improving ourselves boosts up our self-esteem and confidence and hence lifts our lives!

  • GIVES RIGHT PERSPECTIVE: It helps us see ourselves and others from a different point of view. It enables us to see the whole picture, not just a piece in the puzzle.

  • CORRECTS OUR ASSUMPTIONS AND BELIEFS: It permits us to step back and see whether our assumptions are true and if not, gives us the right mind to correct our assumptions and leave us with better clarity and truth.


For example, when we are trying a recipe for a dish, what would we do when we feel it needs some alterations to make the dish a great one? We try to look for some alterations right? That is exactly what self-reflection is. We look out for ways to know, learn and better ourselves.


  1. Find a calm place for yourself.

  2. Schedule a fixed time for self-reflection

  3. Allow yourself to go into the process of knowing, analysing your thoughts, beliefs, desires, emotions, behaviour, decisions.

  4. Find what is not right and needs improvement.

  5. Ask questions like why, how, what.

  • Why we behave the way we do?

  • How to be your best self/version?

  • What needs to be done to attain the best self?

6.Write it down, as it brings clarity.

7.Take the necessary action ( take baby steps / one at a time)

8. Last but not least, don't ruminate.

Don't stay self-reflecting for a long time as it might intensify our thoughts to negative feelings too. Find when to stop with self-reflection.


  1. New year

  2. Birthday

  3. After tragic or embarrassing events

  4. Monthly

  5. Weekly

  6. Daily

  7. Off the track or when you feel you are down spiralling into negative thoughts or unhappiness

  8. Verge of bad feelings

Now, we know what is self-reflection, its benefits, when to do it, how to do and even why people don't prefer to do it.


We are fully educated about self-reflection. What's left is just our implementation. Let's have a separate special time for self-reflection at least from now on and let's reap the benefits and make our lives the best of best.! All the best everyone. Read these quotes, get motivated and let's get it started.

“It is always our own self that we find at the end of the journey. The sooner we face that self, the better.” – Ella Maillart

“Before I ask you to sit with me, I must be able to sit with myself. Before I ask you to accept my pain, I have to accept the pain myself. Before I ask you to love me, I have to be madly in love with myself.” – C. Thoth